Thirteen : Unlucky Indeed
by Funky Funky Usopp
Summary: (G1)Just an odd funny fic I made. About a certain 'cons Nephew and how he comes to vist :) plz RNR got sum fanchars in.
1. Default Chapter

Thirteen Unlucky Indeed  
  
::AN: this is AU and Hex, Bumblebug and Thirteen are my fanchars and Spice is Descats fanchar. Plz RnR I don't own TF or any of the chars witch ain't fan ones. Plz excuse my spelling and grammar I'm dyslexic:::  
  
Chapter 1: Intros and kick outs  
  
Thirteen smiled to himself as he walked away from Shockwaves office after getting a major telling off for sticking one of the Pyramid seekers feet to the floor with some kind of super glue he had constructed. He grinned as he spoke softly to himself.  
  
'5.4...3..2.1..."  
  
KABOOM!!!  
  
A huge explosion could be heard and smoke along with a few flames of fire blew off the door to the keeper's office. Thirteen put his hand to his mouth in a vain attempt at fighting back the laughter.  
  
"THIRTEEN!" Shockwave screamed stomping his way towards the young jet transformer smoke steaming off his burnt metal surface.  
  
Shockwave stood in front of the youth and began to rant and rave about how he had no respect for his elders or higher ranks and how he was going to get totalled in this war if he didn't grow up. Thirteen chuckled a little.  
  
"WHAT is so funny may I ask?" Shockwave hissed.  
  
"Dude.. It's real hard to take you seriously when your eye thingie keeps flashing.." He grinned and pointed to Shockwaves 'eye'  
  
"THAT'S IT!! I have TRIED to be patient with you because your uncle is a high ranking Decepticon on earth! Your no longer welcomed here! You're being exiled to Earth! THEY can deal with you" Shockwave fumed.  
  
Thirteen stood there and gaped till he gained his composure.  
  
"All right! Road trip!" He beamed.  
  
"Go now! The sooner you leave the better"  
  
Thirteen turned around and went to leave the purple pissed off transformer to do what he wanted. He grumbled and pouted.  
  
'I don't want to go to earth! I don't even like fighting'  
  
Awhile later Thirteen found himself out in the open ready for departure. Among those waiting for the hyper jet to leave were the pyramid seekers and Shockwave.  
  
"Any last words Thirteen?"  
  
"Just a few.. Don't you love me?" He made mocking sniffling sounds and laughed at the face the seekers pulled.  
  
"Get going before I change my mind about letting you go to Earth in working order" Shockwave said in a low tone. "Ok, Ok.. geez! Like I want to stay here with you lot! I've seen energon cubes with more facial expressions!"  
  
"GO!"  
  
Thirteen winced and transformed into this jet mode and took off for Earth.  
  
  
  
It had been a long journey since he had, had no idea where he was going or where the Decepticon HQ was but he had made it to earth in one piece no thanks to the meteorite he was playing chicken with. He flew over a desert and with a sigh he transformed and landed with an un graceful 'thud' on the sandy land. He had picked up a power reading witch he instantly thought was the 'cons HQ. He looked around at the dusty scenery that seemed to stretch for miles and spotted what looked like a spaceship jammed into the side of a large rock.  
  
"Ohhhh good camouflage! No one will EVER notice a GIANT spaceship sticking out that.. Rock .. Type.. Thingie.."  
  
The THING he had seen had been the Ark HQ to bot not Con but Thirteen not caring invited himself in any way. He stood in front of the large HQ and saw two other Transformers looking very perplexed. He thought they just had never seen him before.  
  
He grinned and speared his arms in the air and began to yell.  
  
"IT'S ME!!!!"  
  
Jazz and Spice blinked and exchanged glances as they watched the Decepticon stand there like a moron. Spice glared at the 'Con before turning back to Jazz.  
  
"Why haven't we seen this one before?"  
  
"I have no idea" Jazz admitted.  
  
Thirteen stood up and put his arms by his side and coughed to get the others attention witch didn't work.  
  
"Yo! I was exiled to Earth by the purple lord of paperwork and other useless junk or as you all call him.. Shockwave. Erm.. Is this the HQ?" Thirteen looked genuinely confused and lost.  
  
The two Autobots picked up on this and decided to bring the lost 'con' to Prime.  
  
  
  
"And that's my story" Thirteen finished as Prime looked down on him thoughtfully as he considered the options of this youth who was now with out a side.  
  
"I see" He replied.  
  
A few Autobots had gathered due to interest in this very abnormal young con. The ones who were witnessing the advents at hand were Spice, Jazz, Hex, Wheeljack, Bumblebee, Bumblebug and Ratchet. A few others listened to the conversation while they worked.  
  
"Arg I still reakons that's this . 'ere con can't be trusted" Hex slurred and watched Prime contemplating.  
  
"I don't trust him that much either" Spice added.  
  
"I think we SHOULD keep an eye on him" Bumblebug nodded in thought.  
  
"Awww come on! You know you loooooooove me!" Thirteen beamed and put an arm around Spice since he hadn't seen many femmes on Cybertron.  
  
Jazz glared daggers at the young jet and sighed in relief as Spice shoved him away.  
  
"DON'T touch me or I'm liable to stick your wings in places you didn't know existed" Spice said in a deadly tone while she wrapped her arms around Jazz.  
  
Thirteen gulped and shuffled away from the angry femme. Ratchet crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Thirteen.  
  
"Maybe we are jumping the gun a little quick here. Maybe we should see if he can be trusted" The medic mused.  
  
"Well ye all do what ye want I ain't gonna has any thing to do wid this mockery of choice makin' " Hex snorted and left but not with out smacking Bumblebee around the head with the mast that stuck out his back.  
  
Bumblebee yelped a little and sighed.  
  
Wheeljack who had remained silent during this meeting decided to speak up and give his views on the event at hand. His 'ears' flashed as he spoke.  
  
"I'm sure we can find some un vital task or job for him to do to prove himself.. Maybe cleaning?"  
  
"Pff dude! I do NOT do the whole cleaning thing!" Thirteen stamped his foot childishly.  
  
"Be glad we don't kick you out now" Bumblebee sighed still rubbing the back of his head from where the pirate ship had whacked him.  
  
Prime by now had taken all points into consideration and nodded. Thirteen sighed but soon got over it as he leaned his back on the wall.  
  
"FINE! But just watch it! One minute you'll be walking along the halls and BANG! You'll get a mop slung in your face!"  
  
The others rolled their eyes and shook their heads. They could see why the cons on Cybertron had out casted him.  
  
"There is some work he can get started on in the lab" Bumblebug said and watched as Wheeljack looked down at the floor since it was he who made the latest mess of exploded chemicals.  
  
Thirteen grinned and slung his arm around the other femme and smiled slyly. Bumblebug glared at him and moved away standing beside a slightly annoyed Wheeljack.  
  
"Damn you people are sensitive! Are there ANY femme's single?"  
  
All the bots glared at him and he sighed.  
  
"Oh you lot are SO skilled when it comes to conversational skills!"  
  
"Don't get too cocky we'll all be watching you" Spice said and glared at the Mech.  
  
Thirteen mock gasped and put his hand on his head over dramatically.  
  
"Oh no! I guess I'll have to be on BEST behaviour and curtsy" He laughed.  
  
"No need to be sarcastic" Bumblebee frowned. Something witch was rare for the smaller Autobot.  
  
"Oh gosh! I'm SO super sorry! I like didn't mean to!" He said in a 'woe is me' fashion.  
  
"Thirteen if you wish to remain in this place I highly recommend you do as your told" Prime said in a stern voice.  
  
Thirteen grumbled and followed Bumblebug and Wheeljack to the lab to do his first duty as an Autobot.  
  
"I don't like that kid much" Jazz announced as Spice nodded in agreement.  
  
  
  
Thirteen had been introduced to his new 'weapons' a mop and bucket and was placed in front of the mess witch was scattered over the lab floor. The two engineers had left him to his work witch may have not been that good of an idea.  
  
"There HAS to be a better, easier and faster way of doing this." He mused leaning on the handle of the mop.  
  
As if on cue Sludge stumbled into the lab he was looking for Wheeljack, Ratchet or Bumblebug. The jet grinned and turned to face the Dinobot.  
  
"Well hello there" He waved.  
  
"You talk to me Sludge?" Sludge said and cocked his head to one side looking bemused at the new comer.  
  
"No I'm talking to the 5 foot tall green and red asteroid behind you" Oh the fun he could have with this guy! He chuckled to himself.  
  
Sludge turned around looking down in hopes to see this odd image the X- con had pointed out. He glared at Thirteen after he realised there was no such thing.  
  
"Why you lie to me?"  
  
"It's a big ol' world out there I'm just helping you. You know I'm such a great guy I'll even let you do this high ranking job it will help your skills in battle. After all, the mop IS mightier then ANYTHING else" Thirteen swung the mop around making Sludge look on in awe.  
  
"Me Sludge want to learn how to do that!" Sludge grinned in glee as Thirteen handed him the mop.  
  
"Your doing this more for yourself then me" He bowed his head in mock respect before leaving the lab to look around the Autobot HQ.  
  
~~~~~ MORE TO COME ~~~~~~ 


	2. Pranks

Thirteen Unlucky Indeed  
  
Chapter2: Pranks  
  
Thirteen walked around the halls of the HQ trying his best to avoid any of the others. So many victims so many pranks yet to perform. He took a note of most the Autobots names and got ready to go on a pranking spree. He looked at his list and grinned his first victim was the Autobot 'Preceptor' oh this was going to be too easy he almost felt bad. Almost.  
  
He skipped down the hall to Perceptor's working area and looked around the corner of the door. He had heard Preceptor was the kind of guy who wanted EVERY thing neat and tidy. He looked around the small room and saw a lot of files in order and neatly stacked documents in two boxes 'IN' and 'OUT'  
  
"Mwahahahaha" Thirteen laughed and raised his arms in the air.  
  
Spice and Bumblebug walked past and he soon stopped when they gave him odd looks.  
  
"Cough. damn Cough." He pretended to cough but went back the evil laughing when they had gone.  
  
He entered the room and went about gleefully mixing up the neat and tidy files mixing A's with F's and G's with X's. Putting OUT files into the IN files and re arranging the things on Preceptors desk. He sat on the chair and put his feet on the deck and smiled to himself.  
  
"Damn I'm good! Well next victim.."  
  
  
  
"Dum de dum" He hummed as he made his way to his next victim.  
  
"Name.. Red Alert the paranoid heheh I swear their making my job SO much easier"  
  
He saw Red Alert working on something at a desk quite happily tapping away at a computer taking no heed to what was around him. Thirteen hid behind a shelf and tried to bite back laughter. He made his voice go into a soft whisper.  
  
"Red.. Red." He cooed.  
  
Red Alert stopped what he was doing and looked behind him with a nervous look plastered on his face.  
  
"A.Any one there?" The Autobot stuttered. "Watch out.. I'm gonna get you.. I'm gonna get you."  
  
Red Alert jumped out his seat and pulled out a gun shaking a little.  
  
"I knew this was going to happen! I was right!" He said looking around.  
  
"I'm in the room.. I'm next to you, you just can't see me" Thirteen grinned and heard Red Alert whimper.  
  
Thirteen jumped out of his hiding place and pulled a face while screaming 'GOT YAS!'  
  
"Ack!" Red Alert fired his gun missing the jet totally and nailing the wall.  
  
Thirteen raised an eyebrow and looked at the dent in the wall with smoke steaming from it. He put his hands on his hips and looked at the nervous bot.  
  
"Damn I bet your glad I wasn't really out to get you!"  
  
"YOU!" Red glared and aimed his gun at the prankster.  
  
"Yes me! It was me!" He burst into laughter and left Red alert fuming with rage.  
  
  
  
Thirteen yawned he had done A LOT of pranks in the space of a day he looked down at his list and laughed. He had nailed most the Autobots. He had picked up loads of human music over his com link during the day and was singing words to very few songs he had heard.  
  
"Now for my last victims.. ah yes.. The couples.. " He put his hands together and made kissing noises.  
  
"This beats annoying Yellow eye blinky any day!"  
  
He walked down the halls and stopped in front of the lab he burst into laughter at the sight of the Dinobot trying to his best to mop the floor. He sighed and smiled as he continued down the hall and found another room. He looked in and saw Bumblebug and Wheeljack messing around with chemicals.  
  
Bumblebug leaned on Wheeljack and sighed.  
  
"Too. Much. Work.." She whined.  
  
"Well I guess we COULD take a break" He thought and nodded.  
  
"Good!" Bumblebug grinned and pulled him out the room by his arm.  
  
Thirteen ducked out of sight and when the two were out of view he went in the room and looked over the chemicals. His optics lighted up when he saw what this place had to offer. He was NO stranger to dangerous chemicals.  
  
"Ahh the memories" Thirteen mixed a few blues with reds and some purple with green. Yellows with blacks and then added it all to the beaker the two had been toying over before they left. "ONE drop of this and KABOOM! Mwahahahahaha"  
  
He ran out the room and walked down the hall seeing the two return to their work station. Thirteen counted down the countdown he was used to for so many years of his young life.  
  
"5..4.3.2.1."  
  
KABOOM.  
  
He grinned and turned around to see the two steaming from the smoke and grumbling about how they could have made such a mistake. They glanced along the hall and saw Thirteen laughing at them he winked and blew a kiss to Bumblebug and left them to glare at his back.  
  
Bumblebug stomped down the hall after the immature jet fists clenched. She caught up with him and pushed him into the wall glaring at him.  
  
"YOU did that didn't you?" She asked.  
  
"You have NO proof" He grinned and pushed her away.  
  
"Oh that's it! I'm gonna rig you so when you fly you crash!"  
  
"Pff sure."  
  
  
  
'Two death threats and over 12 pranks all in one day! What can I say? When you've got it you've have got it!'  
  
As he was walking he noticed two shadows walking down the other hall and he heard voices.  
  
"I REALLY don't trust him Jazz" Spice sighed as her and Jazz walked hand in hand.  
  
"Some how I don't think he's gonna last here he'll step way out of line soon" Jazz replied frowning at the thought of the newbie.  
  
Thirteen smirked evilly and began to plan another prank. He followed them till they left the ark and sat down outside and watched the stars talking to each other. A wince was clear from Thirteen he always got creeped out by romantic stuff.  
  
He drummed his fingers on a rock trying to formulate a prank. 'Done.. done.. ye.no..done..hmmm' He soon brightened up when the thought came to him. 'Ah ha' He went back into the Ark and came back with two buckets of water and two buckets of green liquid he mixed the stuff together and laughed.  
  
Jazz and Spice where leaning in for a kiss, Thirteen grimaced and dumped the buckets over the two. The water hit the two and they both yelped in surprise. The green liquid was semi- personate dye and the two ended up a shade of green. They looked up at Thirteen and both glared daggers.  
  
"Aww sorry was I interrupting any thing?" He laughed.  
  
"That's IT! YOUR GOING TO DIE!" Spice screamed and went to whack Thirteen.  
  
He grinned and made a gesture to kiss his rear end before transforming into a jet and getting away from the raged femme not with out getting a blast to the wing by her weapon.  
  
Later.  
  
Thirteen was stood before Prime, the other Autobots had all placed complaints to him about the rebellious kid. Prime had no choice but to get rid of the young one. After much yelling Thirteen was yet again on his own. The Autobots had shown him the direction of the con base and literally kicked him out.  
  
~~~~ MORE TO COME ~~~~~~ 


End file.
